Save the Endangered North American White Racist!

August 26, 2094 – blog 


Today marks the 50th anniversary of the U.S. Census Bureau officially declaring white people a numerical minority in the UniStates. On this day in 2044, whites officially dropped below 50% of the total population. Over the last five decades, the proportion of whites has fallen precipitously further as intermarriage and immigration have dramatically increased. Now just one out of four UniStatesians are ethnically white.

As the white population has declined, so has the number of white supremacists, white nationalists and neo-Nazis. The flash-point came mid-century, when white powerists responded to growing mainstream support for ethno-multicultural diversity with a series of coordinated terrorist attacks in major cities at festivals, theaters and even schools that collectively claimed 1,860 victims. This virtually unified public opinion against militant whites overnight, and quickly led to the passage of laws banning hate groups and criminalizing hate speech.

Ultimately, these combined socio-legislative forces politically marginalized and demographically decimated white racists to the extent that government agencies now classify them as a superminority. The result: fewer than 200,000 avowed white racists remain – around 0.05% of the country’s 350 million residents.


Most people celebrate the drastic decline of white racists, and would cheer their complete disappearance from the face of the Earth. They wonder: why would WARP want to protect this virulently prejudiced sub-race from total annihilation? Why not just let them die out – or even speed their eradication?

WARP’s view is that the utter obliteration of North American White Racists would pose grave danger to the substantial progress the UniStates has made towards realizing Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s dream of a truly colorblind civilization, in which people are judged not by their skin tone but the content of their character. Studies show that we need real live white racists around as a reminder of humanity’s brutal past to strengthen our collective immune system against viral racism and inoculate our nation against an epidemic of pigmentation-based bigotry. Otherwise, our proud heritage of racial inclusiveness and tolerance will be jeopardized by the potential resurgence of self-destructive instincts that originate in our evolutionary biology and inherently lurk in the deepest, darkest depths of the human soul.

Just as eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, so constant remembrance of racism’s evil is required to prohibit its recurrence. White racists serve as living reminders of the malevolence that humanity is capable of. While museums, books, films and other cultural artifacts can inform us of racism’s horrors, they cannot impart or elicit the visceral understanding of this genocidal ideology that is needed to keep it at bay now and in the future. That is why WARP pursues our mission-driven vision to protect, preserve and ultimately control the endangered North American White Racist.

WARP’s Solution

Just as conservationists have successfully brought threatened animal and plant species back from the brink of extinction, WARP is committed to saving the last of the North American White Racists. That is why we have adapted one of the most successful tactics ecologists have used to safeguard the planet’s vast biodiversity. We have established a number of securely walled preserves in several key states where white racists are segregated and protected. This serves three strategic purposes:

1) It guards white racists against the lethal physical violence perpetrated by AntiFa and other radicalized organizations that peaked in the 2060s and still contributes to Aryan extremists’ dwindling numbers

2) It provides a safe space where racists can practice their vile lifestyle in isolation, keeping it unadulterated by competing belief systems – so psychologists, anthropologists and other professional social scientists can safely study white racism in its purest form and develop effective antidotes

3) Much like virologists quarantine deadly contagions in laboratories to analyze them and prevent outbreaks, containing white racists on reservations enables researchers to study their psychotic philosophy while keeping it securely in check so that it does not accidentally spread to the larger population through contact with currently non-racist whites suffering from compromised ethical immunity

Racing Towards a Racist Remedy

WARP also recently launched a pilot program, in partnership with the Southern Poverty Law Center, aimed at reintegrating a carefully selected control group of 100 white racists on our reservations back into civil society on a contingency basis. We closely monitor this cadre using tiny drones (disguised as common insects) and advanced neuro-implants. Embedded GPS tags allow us to track subjects’ movements, and subdural brainwave microcameras enable us to see and hear everything they do or say while recording their biofeedback (from heart-rate to emotional response). The six months’ worth of raw data we’ve accumulated so far show immense promise, providing invaluable insight into how the racist mindset reacts when exposed to a healthy worldview.

We are currently expanding this experiment by recruiting a small number of white non-racists to live incognito on one of our reservations for one to four weeks. The results will help us determine the general population’s level of resistance to infectious racist dogma. If you are interested in volunteering, please contact WARP for more information and psychological screening. If you have neither the time, inclination or stomach to directly associate with North American White Racists, we of course completely understand. WARP deals with these flaming assholes on a daily basis, so we know how difficult and even personally hazardous this can be.

Engage the WARP Drive! Please donate to WARP today. Because the North American White Racist is endangered – and we’re racing for a cure to white racism.

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