You’re super-sexy: but not on Earth!

You’re from another planet and don’t belong on Earth. So remember: even if you have been getting some – you’re an alien! It’s 99.9+% mathematically certain you’ve been doing it with members of another species. And know that you probably aren’t getting all the intercourse you want – and deserve!

First, because what red-blooded Earthling would want to get it on with an alien?! The bio-programming of the primitive meat-sacs you’ve been forced to associate with doesn’t equip them to appreciate your inherent sex appeal. Any more than, say, a slug could love a dolphin.

Second, any sex you have been having is likely to be inherently unfulfilling, because you’re wading in the wrong gene pool. Statistically, the chances of meeting one of your own kind on this barren rock are billions to one.

But on your home world, you’d be swimming neck-deep in potential romantic partners! So what the hell are you waiting for?

Get busy and contact TranSpapient now!